With so many aritcles on how to create the perfect romantic evening, we thought this is a refreshing post, sent in by one of our readers…written for guys, by a guy…
There is no denying that although men have a knack for over complicating a matter, very often we excel at applying simplistic genius when it comes to relationships. Let’s face it….it doesn’t always yield the results we expect and more than often leaves us with a couch and a blanket that’s too short.
I know….the logic is simple…..”I get turned on when she strips for me, so I am sure she will get turned on if I strip for her…” uhm…….do you see where I am going with this?
My age has lent itself to some years of experience and as result I have a “fair” understanding of where we could go wrong when it comes to planning a romantic evening.
Okay, the first question is….what is a Romantic Evening? Ya…for us, romance is having your lady pitch up naked with a 6 pack of beer, FHM under one arm and a choice of porn or rugby as foreplay….for “them” it’s something completely different….the following list of “Dont’s” will increase your chances of spending a romantic evening……together.
- Don’t start the day by telling her you dig it that she is wearing that blouse that’s gotten too small for her because it shows off a “lekker” cleavage!
- Don’t tell her you hope she doesn’t have plans tonight, because you want to “Give this Kama Sutra thing a bash!” It’s about Romance, not Sex, besides….over promise, under deliver is never a good thing…
- Don’t ignore her the whole day thinking she can read your mind…although it would appear that women have this ability, it’s a myth, one they have gotten us to believe only when it counts..
- Don’t send her an email describing in graphic detail what you plan to do to her later that night and how you think she has the best tits in town…..although the latter could be true and flattering in concept…women generally don’t find our descriptive choice of words romantic. When it comes to inspiring romance, men aren’t exactly gifted when it comes to describing the act love. What we think could be a Mills & Boons masterpiece, usually ends up being budget porn.
- Don’t send her a text telling her how the thought of the evening has a significant effect on your current state of anatomy….she doesn’t want to know that you unable to walk properly at work, especially if she has a reservation about a female colleague in your office….women tend to be able to take situation and provide an outcome way before Nostradamus catches wind of it. Again….the topic is ROMANCE….which brings me to the next point.*no pun*
- Don’t send her a pic of your dangly bit taken in the office toilet with the caption “Check what I got planned just for you later!!”…..not quite the same as when it comes from the opposite sex…once she figured out what the pic actually is, she is probably going to be reminded of a recent episode on Animal Planet….not what you’re going for…
- Don’t, when she gets home, shout “Howzit babes, I was just checking out the latest score while I waited for you to come home” while you are sitting in the lounge clipping your toe nails, dispensing them in the empty beer bottle.
- Don’t run a bath with only hot water and forget to tell her.
- Don’t serve her food out of a box thinking she will be pleased that you didn’t dirty the dishes and then after supper jump up and say “Okay, come let’s go work of this meal *nudge*” …..
When it comes down to the final act of the evening…..
- Don’t surprise her with a tacky song and you wobbling around confused by rhythm while you try to take off your clothes. It’s a romantic evening, not a comedy festival…besides…guys in underwear only looks good when airbrushed in Men’s Health…..not in real life…..
And now….for many guys….after all is said and done…there is the dreaded CUDDLE, however……
- Don’t get up and shout “Jislaaik, f**it man, that was awesome!!!” only to round it off with a kiss on the forehead and “Love you babes, sleep well, i’m gonna go check out the F1 highlights. You are tired hey? You mos not into F1?” ……#fail….
lastly…if you read this and your lady doesn’t mind the “don’ts” because it’s the “thought that counts”….MARRY HER!!!!!